Medical Gaslighting: Navigating the Complexities of Women's Health with Nicole Bendayan

Have you ever paused to consider the true weight of the words "informed consent," especially when it comes to birth control? Join me, Cynthia Donovan, and our insightful guest, Nicole Bendayan, as we shed light on the oft-overlooked nuances of women's health and empowerment. This episode is a testament to the strength and resilience of women navigating the healthcare system, where Nicole's personal narrative brings to the forefront the challenges and dismissals many face from healthcare professionals.

Together, we peel back the layers of disordered eating, hormonal contraception, and menstrual health, highlighting the profound need for transparent communication and comprehensive education. Our discussion ventures into the labyrinth of transitioning off hormonal contraceptives, addressing post-pill amenorrhea, and underlines the importance of equipping women with the necessary tools to make empowered healthcare decisions. We confront the controversial Washington Post article featuring Nicole, sparking a crucial conversation about women's rights in healthcare choices and the political undertones that often muddy the waters.

Wrapping up, we tackle the challenges of a fragmented medical system and the merits of seeking holistic care.


Where to find Nicole?
https://www.instagram.com/nicole.bendayan/
https://www.tiktok.com/@nicole.bendayan

**Apply for Period Recovery coaching w/Cynthia**
https://p.bttr.to/3ybjfOb 

Need guidance in eating? Check out this FREE Meal Plan from Cynthia

Website: https://www.periodnutritionist.com  

Instagram: www.instagram.com/period.nutritionist

For the full show notes - please visit my website: periodnutritionist.com

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:04

Welcome to the Period Recovery Podcast. I'm your host, cynthia Donovan, registered dietitian and period recovery expert, who has been where you currently are. This is the podcast to listen to if you want your period back, month after month, or if you want to restore your fertility and feel more relaxed around food and exercise. Consider this your safe space that will take the guests and the stress out of period recovery and bring you the information, the inspiration, tools, stories and empowerment that are key in getting your period back month after month. Get ready to be inspired, get ready to get your period back and get ready to get your life back. Come on, let's dive in. Hi all, welcome back to another episode of the Period Recovery Podcast, and today I'm throwing at you a bonus episode because I wanted to get Nicole Bendian on the podcast as soon as possible, because I wanted to talk about the very important topic of birth control and informed consent for women and just women's health in general.

Speaker 1: 1:11

So Nicole and I go through many points of all right, what's going on here? Why aren't women having the right to choose? Why isn't there informed consent on the pill? What are some other ways that we can have a regular cycle without the pill? And, last but not least, nicole and I discuss the controversial Washington Post article that she was featured in. That didn't quite go as what she had planned it would have been and now, looking at it backward, it has brought a lot of attention and a lot of awareness to this very particular subject of women's consent to choose, informed consent on the pill and so much more. So join me as Nicole and I chat all things birth control pills and get into a little bit of this controversial topic with the Washington Post. Hi, nicole, welcome to the podcast. Hi, thank you for having me.

Speaker 2: 2:18

I'm excited to be here.

Speaker 1: 2:19

Yes, me too. So we have a lot to chat about today and sort of a pressing item of something that recently happened in the media. But before we get into that, I'd love for the audience to get to know you a little bit better, and I also particularly want to know your history, your perhaps maybe bumps in the road with your menstrual cycle and kind of how you became the person you are today, I guess, professionally and personally. So if you want to share and tell us a little bit more about yourself in those regards, Absolutely so.

Speaker 2: 2:59

I guess my story started a long time ago. I suffered with disordered eating for a long time, so I was really obsessed with nutrition and would spend hours just researching about food and nutrition and biohacking and all of these other things. And then I started on birth control when I was like 16. And I was on birth control for about nine years. I switched birth control about eight years in or seven years in and you know I started having really negative symptoms, I would say about four years in, and you know they got progressively worse. I suffered with a lot of anxiety and depression, recurring infections. I had really bad gut issues. So many different things I went to go see like four different doctors in three years and every single one of them totally dismissed me. Like, even when I asked if things had anything to do with birth control, they all said no. So I stayed on it for a while and then after university I moved over to Vietnam for a year and that was really a great time.

Speaker 2: 4:02

I wanted to really work on my health and my life and care more about how I felt versus how I looked. So I started to heal my disordered eating habits and all that kind of stuff. But I was still on birth control and I kept having this recurring thought of you know I have pretty much. Since I've had these hormones I've been on synthetic ones and with a lot of the research I was doing and then further getting into nutrition and getting certified in nutrition, I started to recognize how significant hormones were, how much of a part they played in so many different aspects of our bodies, not even just our menstrual cycles, but our cognition, our skin, our hair, so many different things. And that recurring thought just kept coming up. So eventually I decided to get off of birth control in and around COVID times and all of my symptoms went away. And it was really this eye-opening experience of like, hmm, I started doing some more research into the symptoms that I had and the specific birth controls that I was on and found all of my symptoms laid out, if not in that tiny eight point font on that like newspaper size pamphlet, or with research studies found online on PubMed and such. So that really was an eye opening experience of you know.

Speaker 2: 5:25

I felt like I wasn't given authority over my healthcare. I felt like that was kind of taken away from me, because we look at doctors and the healthcare system as this authority, who we assume have all of the answers and have you know. I think that most doctors are ethical in their practices, but do they really have the education and the understanding behind what they're providing and the suggestions that they're giving? And so, in and around that time that I started doing that research, I also started doing research into my menstrual health and reproductive health, and that was when I found out that there was four phases to my menstrual cycle, and I was flabbergasted, to say the least.

Speaker 2: 6:12

Here I am thinking that I'm well-educated, I've been into nutrition and biohacking for an extended period of time, I'm going through this nutrition education and I don't even know that there was four phases to my cycle, and so started doing a lot more research on my own and had that idea of, hey, these hormones are fluctuating, so should I be?

Speaker 2: 6:32

They need to be supported differently, they impact me differently. So what if I lived in tune with that? And that was before I even knew that cycle syncing was a thing, or phase syncing, or syncing up with your cycle was even a topic to be had, and that was really. I started having more conversations with other women, and at the time I was nutrition and culinary director of the startup in Toronto, and it was really a toxic environment that I needed to get away from. So I decided to turn my Instagram page into teaching people about menstrual health and phase syncing and all of that and over the subsequent year got a lot more certifications and kind of started to build up this practice and it's really taken a life of its own. I no longer just focus on phase syncing, but now I also help women repair hormonal imbalances and revive their cycles and teach fertility awareness method, the symptom thermal method, and just try to help as much as I can in all of the holistic menstrual health realm, and I guess that's kind of where I've gone today.

Speaker 1: 7:40

Yeah, amazing, nicole. Thank you for sharing that. And so it sounds like you know, just like myself, I, you know, I had a missing period. I was on the pill for, I think gosh we'll just say 10 years, at least 10 years when I was younger. I was put on it because that's what happens and it still happens and it's been gosh. It's been you know, two decades now since, you know, I first started the pill and it's still the same thing, is still happening. We're just being prescribed the pill and we're going to get into that in a bit about, you know, informed consent and all that stuff. But you know, it sounds like you've taken, you know what you've personally experienced and really shared that with the world, and Because we don't want anyone to struggle with this right. And where are we learning this? We're not learning it in high school, we're not learning it through our medical providers. Where are we learning this?

Speaker 2: 8:36

Yeah, absolutely, and that was kind of some of my experience as well. I ended up going viral on TikTok and that really shot me up in the social media space. But the realization that I had with that was really even though there's been times that, like I want to step away from the practice or it gets too overwhelming, or I don't want to, you know, be big on social media, because that's a whole other thing yeah, it really was at that point in time was recognition of how essential this information is and how needed it is and how much women really crave a better understanding of their cycles and how to live in tune with their bodies and really understand their bodies. So it's kind of become a responsibility of mine in many ways to continue this practice and continue helping women in this space, because it is so needed and because there is such a lack of resources and I hope that one day it's all general knowledge, but until then got to keep the fight going.

Speaker 1: 9:34

Yeah, I agree, I think it might be a while. I'm hoping it's not going to be my great great grandchildren maybe just grandchildren, hopefully. But I'm hoping, with the support of you and so many other women out there that are sharing very helpful information that you might not get from your medical provider, I think this is how we are going to change the world in women's health, one person at a time. So I want to back up for just a moment and talk a little bit about disordered eating.

Speaker 1: 10:09

And do you feel, because you were on the pill when you were experiencing disordered eating, was there ever a time, nicole, that you maybe thought something was going on with your cycle, even though you were on the pill? Right, because we know the pill masks many menstrual irregularities or potentially your period being missing, but not always. Sometimes it can get that bad. Where you're on the pill, you're getting breakthrough bleeding or not getting a period at all on the pill. And, fyi, if you are on the pill majority of birth control pills you should be getting a bleed. But was there anything that like you picked up on as far as your menstrual cycle goes? Or was it just way too hard at that time because you were on the pill?

Speaker 2: 10:55

To be honest, I think it was just not in my psyche, I wasn't thinking about it.

Speaker 2: 11:00

I was on NuvaRing, so it was like every three weeks I take it out and I bleed for five days and then I put it back in, and that was just the consistent thing for like eight years. So it wasn't necessarily something I even thought about and I think that in itself is a testament to what a lot of women experience of. It's just not something that's in the back of our minds maybe, but it's not something that we're really focused on. And I think that is what really needs to shift. Is the fact that, like, yes, we should be having a cycle and we should be having these fluctuations of hormones and they shouldn't be a negative thing that we're thinking of. And you know, we can actually learn to live in tune with it and leverage each phase of our cycle and actually use it to our advantage. But yeah, it wasn't even a thought for me. I think for a long time aside from kind of those last few years that I was like I don't know myself without synthetic hormones.

Speaker 1: 11:54

Yeah, yeah, I would have to say the same. I mean, if someone asked me the same question I just asked you, I probably would have had the same response, except for me. When I decided to go off of it, I was like, huh, I just had this like intuitive feeling like I don't know if things are going to be quite right when I come off of this. And I had just gotten married or was getting married. So I'm like maybe, you know, I did want a family someday. I'm like maybe it might be a good idea to kind of like see what happens.

Speaker 1: 12:22

And from there I came off the pill and didn't get a period and doctors assured me like oh, that's normal post-pillamentaria. Or just come back and see me in three months, or, you know, if you have trouble getting pregnant, there's always fertility medications. And I can tell you many of my clients today and this is like I said over a decade many of my clients today, and this is like I said over a decade. So yeah, in almost five years, nicole, it took me many doctors, many well, I don't want to say many misdiagnosis.

Speaker 1: 12:54

I was diagnosed once misdiagnosed with PCOS which is super common in the HA world for a woman to be diagnosed by their healthcare provider by that.

Speaker 1: 13:00

So yeah, five years, wow. So anyway, just to kind of answer your question too, from myself that it's so common we don't even know because it's just so going on. The pill is I don't know if you want to call it normalized or like just the go-to for many medical providers. And now I guess this will be a nice thing to lead us into our discussion on your most recent article in the Washington Post. But we're put on the pill and we're just like here.

Speaker 1: 13:37

Your period's missing, it's a regular. Here you go, nothing else for the most part, just by the way, this is not going to fix your problem. I for me thought back then, when the doctor was prescribing the pill, that okay, this is going to fix my problem because I have a lot of trust. Like you said, we almost look at the medical provider as some authoritative figure in which, if they say it, then well, it must be true. So where should we start, or where do you want to start, nicole, to kind of talking about this sort of controversial subject with your article in the Washington Post?

Speaker 2: 14:23

Yeah, I mean I guess we can start talking about the article to give you guys some background and then I'll go into my experience with the article. Because the article it's called something of the sort of women are going off of birth control amid misinformation explosion and throughout the article they minimize a lot of the experiences that women have and the very real, very scientifically proven with evidence side effects that women experience on hormonal contraception and really tried to position social media and quote unquote influencers as these disseminators of misinformation and that birth control really isn't something to be worried about and isn't bad. And then they go on to politicize birth control and women going off of birth control and influencers, et cetera, as a right-wing conspiracy theory. When I was mentioned in the article which I was interviewed for, the article multiple times, definitely thought it was a different article which I'll get into. But I was interviewed quite a few times and not once did they bring up anything political, not once did they bring up my political standings etc. But prior to them talking about me in the article there is a paragraph that says you know, influencers of all political stripes seeking fame and fortune, negative content, you know does better, or something of the sort. And then, after they talk about me, there's a subheading that says an underlying conservative push and that really irks me because women's health should not be a political issue. It is a women's health issue and we shouldn't be politicizing women's bodies. You know, I believe access to hormonal contraception is essential, but so is informed consent and I don't believe that women are given informed consent and this article was kind of perpetuating that. You know, multiple times throughout the article it minimizes the connection between hormonal contraception and anxiety or depression or mood disorders or low libido etc. And I can get into why I think they did that.

Speaker 2: 16:38

But in regards to my experience with the Washington Post and that article specifically, I was reached out to by a journalist back in the end of November and you know she reached out asking if she, if I could, if she could have an interview with me talking about hormonal contraception, fertility and pretty much why women are going off of birth control, and so of course I was a little bit worried because I understand the media and how manipulative it can be and how, even though I want to think that most people have good intentions, many do not, especially when it comes to financial gain. But I had been interviewed a couple of times and it seemed like it was going to be a good article about why women are moving toward more holistic practices and away from hormonal contraception. And then the editor calls me and tells me that they are going to release, or they want to release, the article in the next week. And can we get a photographer to come to your house? I was like, sure, cool. So the photographer comes to my house and I ask her if she's read the article or if she knows anything about it. And she couldn't tell me details about it. But she was like no, it's a really positive article. She even used the word trailblazing. And then, you know, the editor calls me again a couple of days later saying that if the article goes to print, that they want to send it to me. Because you know why that's so cool. You're in the Washington Post, of course we want to send it to me, because you know why that's so cool. You're in the Washington Post, of course we want to send it to you so you can frame it. And that all sounded really positive.

Speaker 2: 18:10

And then I didn't hear anything from them for a couple of weeks. And then I got an email that said when they contacted a social media company that a few videos were taken down due to quote unquote misinformation, and that one of my videos was also taken down in this these five that were taken down after the Washington Post inquired. And so she asked for my response and I gave her my response, which was that yes, I agree that if something is perpetuating misinformation or could be misconstrued as misinformation, that I agree with it being taken down to not perpetuate misinformation, but that I stand behind that video because it was based in research and I provided the research or details about how you know. The video itself was about how some forms of contraception can increase the risk of contracting infections and STIs, and so I sent her the fact that I stand behind it because these research papers are saying that, yes, it can increase the risk of, specifically, chlamydia, gonorrhea and HSV2 XYZ.

Speaker 2: 19:23

So of course, in the article they used the fact that my video was taken down as a form of discrediting me and then quoted me and saying that I agree that things should be taken down or I stand by the fact that things should be taken down if it's perpetuating misinformation, but of course did not include the fact that that video specifically was based in research and there's merit to it.

Speaker 2: 19:48

And also, throughout the article, they mentioned about three times the fact that I'm not a licensed medical professional, which I've never claimed to be, that I inform my clients that I am not a doctor and that I am a quote unquote educator, which, yes, but they also very conveniently left out my multiple certifications that they were aware of in nutrition, food, health and nutrition, women's health cycle tracking, et cetera. So it was very much so a misleading experience in the way that they conducted the experience with me, experience in the way that they conducted the experience with me. And then also the fact that within the article, there was a lot of things that were very misleading, that were minimizing scientific research and that perpetuated this issue between birth control, misinformation and the ability for women to actually have informed consent, and then they turned it into a very political piece.

Speaker 1: 20:46

Yeah, and I hate that this experience had to happen to you, nicole, because when you said you know you feel like everyone should have good intentions, right and that's, I totally agree. Like good intentions, but not everyone does. And here you know, just like we talked about in the beginning of this interview of like how meaningful it is for you to do this work, how meaningful it is for me to do this work. And then you know we are like okay, you know media, we can, more people can get this amazing information that they are not getting from their medical provider across the world. Like, this is not a thing in the US, this is across the world. And here we're trying to do good things, and then it is given some negative commentary, which really sucks.

Speaker 1: 21:36

But I'm a big believer on if you're doing good things with good intentions like even though that article was completely twisted good things will prevail. Oh, absolutely, but it is. I hate that. And when I think of birth control, the last thing I think of is political. But now that we talk about it and I'm not going to get into politics, I'm not a fan but now that you bring it to light, how many things are political out there? Almost everything, and so, anyway, going to the problem, not focusing so much on the article it's written, they have done, hopefully not too much damage.

Speaker 2: 22:26

To that point.

Speaker 2: 22:27

I think that after the article was released obviously I saw it and because I'm featured in it was a little shaken up.

Speaker 2: 22:31

But I've also seen you know in the subsequent week after that, how many people were really went against this article and were like this is horrible journalism.

Speaker 2: 22:41

First of all, it was really twisted and it dismissed not only my experience but so many different women's experiences and I think a lot of people saw right through that pretty quickly and I've seen over the last couple of days just how many people have been posting about it and the article itself and how much of a conversation has been started since this article came out, not again just on my side but in the general scheme of things, of how there's so many more people being like actually, no, first of all, all of these side effects are listed on the packages. So how are you trying to dismiss that on the packages? So how are you trying to dismiss that? And, second of all, you know this is just kind of showing it's a reflection of what's been going on with women's experiences in the healthcare system of, you know, being dismissed, being invalidated, being pushed to the side. You know, and I think that a lot of people saw right through it and it's been able to create this discourse that's really needed and expanded the conversation a little bit more.

Speaker 1: 23:47

Yeah, yeah, you know, as you were saying that, I'm like, yeah, I'm like it's almost. I'm not saying like the situation shouldn't have occurred. Hopefully next time they'll think differently. But because there was a little bit of controversy, this probably reached a lot more people and got a lot more people starting the conversation, and hopefully it's reaching some medical providers too. That will start to explore things a little bit differently. So you know, everything happens for a reason, right, and hopefully, yeah. So let's talk about, let's get a little bit into detail about women's right to choose and maybe a little bit about informed consent on the pill, because I can speak for myself. I can speak for probably all of the hundreds of clients I've worked with that have been put on the pill. It was never like hey, by the way, well, here's the list of side effects on this. You know that big newspaper sheet with you know size like point negative font.

Speaker 1: 24:48

But in aside from that, you know side effects and so forth, but it never once for myself or any of my clients. Oh yeah, my doctor said like here, take the pill, Like it won't fix the problem, but you know, there was nothing. It was just like here, take the pill, it won't fix the problem, but there was nothing. It was just like here, take the pill, and that was it. So let's talk a little bit about that. Informed consent and women's rights to choose.

Speaker 2: 25:10

Yeah, absolutely so. When I think of informed consent when it comes to birth control or any sort of medication, a lot of the things in the healthcare system, I guess I really see that there's three categories or pillars that women should have informed consent over. So the first one is pre-screening for certain risks right, there's been a lot of studies that show the connection between hormonal contraception specifically the progestin in the hormonal contraception and anxiety and depression. So in a lot of the studies that have been done, it also says that providers should screen for previous history of mood disorders and navigate that accordingly, right? Or the fact that certain hormonal contraception can increase the risk of breast cancer, cervical cancer, brain tumors, liver tumors, etc. So if someone is at an increased risk, they should be screened for that and be made aware of those risk factors. And then I think the second category or pillar is really about all of those different side effects and risk factors that were not walked through, the different side effects that it could have, and in fact, most of us are dismissed when we do come and speak about the side effects that we're experiencing, right? So there should be a comprehensive understanding of this is what you might experience, you might not, but it's something to think about. And also the fact that you know certain hormonal contraceptions can change your nutrient requirements because they deplete six specific nutrients or that they can impact the microbiome. So at least if we know those things, then we can take the steps to mitigate some of the issues that come with it. Right, because being deficient in certain nutrients can cause a cascade of different effects. So if we know that birth control may be altering our nutritional requirements or our gut health, then we can take probiotics or increase our micronutrient intake.

Speaker 2: 27:09

And then the third aspect is alternative resources. So, having access to alternative resources in as much of hey, you can actually avoid pregnancy naturally and very effectively using the symptom thermal method. Yes, it takes some time to learn and you have to be consistent and responsible about it, but this is an option for you if that's what you choose to do, or, like you said, because so many women end up being prescribed birth control because of PCOS or acne or amenorrhea or all of these different menstrual related issues, that there should be alternative resources that say, hey, we can actually, with diet and lifestyle intervention, greatly manage, if not completely repair, these conditions. So if that's something you want to choose to do, let's walk through that. If it's not something you want to do, birth control is an option, right, but I think that women just aren't given informed consent over those three categories in order to make a decision that actually works towards their goals, their capabilities, their financial capabilities, their relationship capabilities, all of these different aspects that play a role.

Speaker 2: 28:19

But when we're not given this information, that authority is taken away from us and it kind of just perpetuates this whole issue of women staying in a lane, that they're just lost, confused and often suffering. And pain is not just part of being a woman, like so many of us think, and there's actually things that we can do about it.

Speaker 1: 28:41

I am so excited to introduce to you guys the Eat to Regain your Period group coaching program. If you are struggling to regain your period and you're feeling lost despite countless attempts to get it back, I invite you to apply to the Eat to Regain your Period group coaching program. If you're really tired of doing all the things getting no results, if you're dreaming of starting a family one day, or just simply restoring your health, if you're seeking a holistic, natural way to get your period back, without pills or supplements, or if you just need personal guidance on what might be missing to regain your period, with a team of registered dietitians, you are going to get a proven program that has helped hundreds of women across the world regain their cycles back, restore their fertility and feel inspired and confident in a new found health. You guys, don't let your missing period be the biggest issue in your life anymore. Join me and reclaim your health with the Eat to Regain your Period group coaching program. To learn more, visit wwwperiodnutritionistcom.

Speaker 1: 29:49

Yeah, and thank you so much for sharing those three points, and you know I just think about again just brings me back to my experience of no informed consent about that. It was just like here's the pill, and that was it. And oh well, your period's missing. Here's the pill, and then let's even. I'm not going to go in too much to the fertility medication realm, but that's another place right, we're not getting informed consent.

Speaker 1: 30:16

I can't tell you how many of the women out there who either have worked with me or follow my page are like. Well, my doctor said IVF is the only option and that's a whole nother thing about fertility doctors.

Speaker 1: 30:30

So we're going to stay the course here, but just to show you that could we somehow one day have these options, because I know for me personally, if I had some options at that particular time, I would have explored them all, and I think anyone that's really invested in themselves or their health, you know, would explore them. So the question is how do we get there? And there might not be any right answer, but I think about you know, doctors are not being taught this in medical school, right, and just HA particular, like there is not a lot of studies out there on HA. So we need the research, we know that, but doctors aren't being taught about this in medical school. They're not able or I don't want to say able, but maybe it's you know, they're not, they don't have the time to talk about it. And also, they have their own views, right.

Speaker 1: 31:27

How many medical providers could potentially be maybe projecting their own views and so forth because they don't know? You know about it, and some don't even know you know about the birth control pill, let alone the alternatives. So so what do we do? And I guess that's hopefully why there's people like you and I and other practitioners out there that are, you know, spreading valuable information and so that we're not preaching one way or the other, like if you want to take the pill, that's you know, that's your choice. But now you know, after hearing, you know, nicole, and if you follow my page, you know that you, you have a choice.

Speaker 2: 32:06

Absolutely, absolutely. And I think what it really comes down to is education in a whole scope of different things, like you were talking about, with doctors and healthcare professionals. Like, if you actually look at what it takes to become a medical doctor, there's a recommended 25 hours of nutritional training and majority of schools don't even teach that recommended 25 hours. So that's just showing that there's very, very, very limited information that doctors are getting on alternative ways, specifically through dietary and lifestyle factors, in order to help these certain situations. And when it comes to the individual who is going through these, then understanding, learning, being educated about your body, how it works, how you can support it, then gives you a little bit more of an authority to then go to your healthcare professional and have authority over your health. And one story that I often tell is that I had a client and we were going through her intake and all of that kind of stuff and I was like you know what it really sounds like? You might be experiencing PCOS. So of course, I'm not going to diagnose you I don't have those capabilities but why don't you go to the doctor, ask them to run these specific tests and see if you want to get diagnosed if that's the case. So she goes to her doctor the week after and doctor diagnoses her with PCOS and immediately writes her a prescription for birth control. And when she's handing it to my client because we had kind of gone over this and we armed her for how to be an active participant in her healthcare she goes hey, if I do X, y, z with my diet, do you think that would help? And the doctor goes, oh yeah, that could probably help. And it's like why wasn't that intervention the first thing that came up? Like why was it that immediately let's go on hormonal contraception until you want to get pregnant and then we'll figure it out? And you know, like your experience, potentially five years later still not being able to figure it out, because the longer we push something you know to the future, the longer it might take.

Speaker 2: 34:13

So I think it is a lot of becoming active participants in our health care and it goes down to education participants in our healthcare and it goes down to education and I think it also goes down to recognition that we all have a place to be in this space.

Speaker 2: 34:30

Right In the Washington Post article they quoted me of saying like I would love to work with your healthcare team, because I think that I could provide valuable resources for you and, with the help of your doctor or your endocrinologist or whoever you're working with, together we can come and actually come up with a plan of action that suits you right now and for your future.

Speaker 2: 34:52

And I think in a lot of ways the medical system has become really divided and separated. We have an endocrinologist, we have our gastroenterologist, we have all of these different doctors for our specialties that don't really communicate with each other, and I think that's a huge downfall, because when you look at the body, the body is one system made up of various systems. Right, it's like a whole orchestra. And I think that, letting go of that attachment to ego, of like, oh, I know best, then we can actually come together and support our clients or patients or whoever it is, in a way that actually supports them and actually gives them care in their healthcare, rather than just being kind of reactive medicine or whatever that is, yeah, treating surface level.

Speaker 1: 35:40

Right, that's what's happening. We're not looking at the whole picture and, for various reasons, not having a team that is communicating, I mean, yeah, that's hard. So I mean, I don't know about you and I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but chances are that's not going to happen anytime soon, right, we're not going to have our healthcare system actually turn into a healthcare system, right? And so I heard you mention, you know, helping your clients and patients be pretty much advocates for themselves, and so that's kind of where I stand too. It's like you know what, even though I'm so passionate about missing periods and getting healthcare practitioners and stuff informed, at the same time it's like, well, I don't want to say are you beating a dead horse? Because I think there are medical providers that are willing to take the time, want to learn more and anyway, in the meantime, if we can't get to the medical providers themselves, how do we help our clients and patients advocate for themselves? And I know that's something I teach my clients to do, and you can see the future right, like, okay, you're going to the doctors If you want to get a diagnosis, so forth. As a dietician, I cannot diagnose either, but this is probably what's going to happen. They come back and they feel more empowered. That's how we should be.

Speaker 1: 37:09

I don't know if it's an upbringing thing or whatever, but prior to doing the work that I do, I relied on the medical care provider to tell me what to do and put my own needs and thoughts aside, even though it was always hanging over my head. And I mean, I look back at my family and some of them are still like, well, the doctor said this. I was like okay, and again, I'm not like putting down doctors because, guess what, they're human, just like you and I. All doctors don't know everything about everything. I don't know everything about nutrition, I will tell you that point blank. But I do know my specialty area. So anyway, how do we advocate for our clients and help women have the right to choose? And so I know you kind of walked through one instance, nicole, and how you help that one client of yours advocate on as far as PCOS. But is there anything like, I guess, advice out there, or maybe you've had a client or patient with HA that I guess your approach to help them be better advocates for themselves?

Speaker 2: 38:16

Yeah Well. So again I would say for me it all goes back to education. That's why, with my programs, I always include my course content, so I hold the cycle revival blueprint that it really takes you through a whole body approach, and again, with education being one of the most important aspects for me. You know it starts off with giving a foundation of the menstrual cycle, how your whole body works, because it's your whole body is interconnected, and then also how nutrition works and what nutrients are and how your body absorbs nutrients and how these different systems in your body really play into it. And then we go through, you know, the revival aspect of it, how we can repair certain systems, etc. And then into living in tune and facing nutrition and stuff like that. But I think really what the basis is is if you understand the foundations and the communication that your body provides to you, then you're able to not only support yourself in the moment and advocate for yourself, but also in the future. Right? So with my programs I go through whether they're in their group program or a one-on-one program. I go through whether they're in their group program or a one-on-one program, like we go through the communication of our body. So what do different symptoms say and what do those symptoms lead back to and what might be correlating factors, right? So, for instance, you know you're missing your period and you also have a rich history of overexercise and undernutrition. So we're really looking at some hypothalamic amenorrhea, right? What systems are associated with that? Right? The hypothalamus pituitary adrenal axis like how are we going to then repair that?

Speaker 2: 39:54

And a lot of women come to me with estrogen dominance and all of these different issues, that if you're able to understand the language of your body, then you can go to your healthcare provider and be like, hey, I am experiencing X, y and Z and I have a feeling it might be related to my HPA access. Can you run some tests on my cortisol levels? Or, if I am experiencing PCOS, can you run some tests on my androgen levels or DHEAS and all these different things? And then, from there, if you are able to go to your provider and say, hey, this is what I'm thinking, I'm experiencing and no, I didn't figure this out on WebMD, this is legitimate. And also, if you then know certain ways that you can potentially support your body, can you then go to your healthcare profession and be like, okay, thank you for doing those tests. Like, do you think that if I, you know, started eating a certain way, started exercising a certain way, that that would really support me?

Speaker 2: 40:57

Because I think, in a lot of terms, and quite a few of my clients experience PCOS. So when they go to the doctor and they get diagnosed with PCOS, it's like okay, yes, you have insulin resistant PCOS, and then they get put on metformin or they get put on birth control. So if my clients then know that inosteol is a better option potentially than metformin, right, then should I go on that instead? So it can become a dialogue. I think what big issue comes into play is the fact that, like, yes, most healthcare providers are there to diagnose and prescribe right, and I think it is up to us and having the education and having the knowledge and how to support our bodies and how our bodies work, to take those decisions and really make informed choices when it comes to that right.

Speaker 1: 41:57

Yeah, absolutely, and I think this is a big shift from how, you know, maybe previous generations, if you will. You know they didn't gather the information to go to their healthcare provider. They, you know, expected their healthcare provider to provide that to them. And the education it's really. I mean I look at that as building your confidence, because I think I don't know. I mean, back in the day when I was going through this and I didn't have the education, I didn't have the awareness, I felt pretty intimidated to talk to my healthcare professional. So I think, you know, educating yourself would 100% agree with.

Speaker 1: 42:35

Let's start there. And then, second, you know I want to know because I'll tell you what I personally say is you know you can go to your doctor and you know, get the diagnosis, whatever, if you want to ask them for XYZ lab, whatever, you know that's totally fine. And you know they say well, what if they don't listen? What if they don't? And that's when I usually say is, then it might be time for a new provider that will listen to you, Because maybe this doctor doesn't have all the answers right, but maybe you have some information that they don't. And if they're not willing to work with you as a team, then I think that's something to be said about that provider.

Speaker 2: 43:17

Oh, absolutely. My doctor when I was younger was my family doctor and I had gone to see her multiple times. I think I went to go see her like three or four times within a summer because I was physically ill for an extended period of time and every time I went to go see her she would touch my stomach and then write me a prescription for something that would help with gastritis. And I kept going to see her and I was trying to get more tests done and really trying to figure it out until a point that I just gave up and ended up helping myself. But it was funny because I was having a conversation with my stepdad, who also would see her, and he asked her for a specific test and she looked him in the eyes and said there's really no point of you taking that test because I wouldn't know how to read it anyways. And I was like, oh wait, what? So that whole experience with me when she wasn't giving the test? It likely was just because she didn't have the bandwidth or the understanding on how to either read those tests or get them performed or didn't see the value in them. And that was a really shocking thing to me because you could have just told me that and I would have been fine with either finding a new practitioner or with figuring out something else. But the fact that you just told me you're kind of shit out of luck was really a detriment to me. In so many ways. That could have been avoided if you know they were just open and honest about it.

Speaker 2: 44:54

And you know what's been really cool over the last couple of years. I've had quite a few clients come to me and they actually say, like my doctor recommended you and like yeah, it's always so funny when that happens. When you know it's a doctor would say like hey, I don't actually have a lot of these answers, but here's someone that might give you some, um, you know, good direction, and that was. That's been a really cool experience. I've also been.

Speaker 2: 45:22

I was on a docu-series a couple of years ago with a medical provider and it was really cool to see those bridges being built between preventative or holistic care and, you know, more reactive care or whatever it is, because the truth is so many of these doctors let alone the fact that they're not given the information when they're in medical school, but also so many of them are overrun, so many of them are burned out, so many of them don't have the time to really give. I think it's most doctor's appointments are between three and seven minutes or something like that. I'm like, hey, my first session is an hour and a half because we go through everything right. So if you don't have the time and space for it, then where can we direct elsewhere? And I think us professionals like you and I having more visibility in the space and that's one thing that I love social media for is because it does get this information out and it does show people that there are other methods or other ways or other knowledge that they can absorb to support themselves.

Speaker 1: 46:32

Absolutely. And you know what, 10 years ago I wouldn't be like oh, I'm just going to go to Instagram or TikTok to figure out what's going on. But now, if I have an issue, I'm always like there to Instagram or TikTok to figure out what's going on.

Speaker 1: 46:43

But now if I have an issue, I'm always like there's got to be a coach for that and I was just like nope, I want to go see somebody that has the experience in that particular thing, because they're going to be able to help me figure it out much quicker than me.

Speaker 2: 46:59

Go ahead. I would just have a caveat there, being like there are definitely people on social media who don't have the experience.

Speaker 1: 47:07

Oh, yes, be careful.

Speaker 2: 47:09

Right. So take it all with a grain of salt, but with my clients, if they come to me and we book a one-on-one discovery call or whatever it is, then we can walk through it a little bit and we can be transparent and all that kind of stuff that you then know, kind of what it is. Because there is definitely something to say about short form video content and how much we're actually able to provide, and you know all of these different things, but 100%, I'm the same way. I will find a coach for everything.

Speaker 1: 47:39

Yes, so, but that is the power of social media. But, you know, just like Nicole said, we still have to be careful, like you know, just, it can't be just anybody out there. There are a lot of people out there claiming to do X, y and Z. You know, and I can't tell you, like the tips of, like what, like, how do you know? Like, how do you know? And I've had so many clients come to me, nicole, and be like, well, I've worked with this.

Speaker 1: 48:05

You know, I'm not going to call out different providers, you know, as far as like naturopaths and so forth, but I worked with X and, like you know, they said, you know, by doing this and this, and it just didn't solve my problem. You know, I guess all I can say is just be careful, ask the questions. Do you have any advice for those? Just to like be careful, like, how do I know? This is like a legit person, because I don't even want to say, you know, as a registered dietitian, you know, yes, I have credentials that are, I mean, passed by, whatever, you know, I went to college for it, whatever.

Speaker 1: 48:38

But there are also registered dietitians out there that could be providing misinformation. So I don't even want to say like, be careful. Or like make sure they have X, y and Z credential, because sometimes you still don't know. So I really, off the top of my head, can't think of any advice to tell them like, okay, well, just be careful for X, y and Z. Is there anything that stands out in your head to be like okay, well, you know, just be careful for X, y and Z. Is there anything that stands out in your head to be like okay, you know, yes, you can get valuable information on Instagram, tiktok, but be careful of dot, dot dot.

Speaker 2: 49:12

That is a good question because, you know, I would say, be careful of someone who seems like they know everything or seems like they think that they know everything. But that also is difficult because you're looking at, you know, 70 or 90 second clips of, yeah, we're trying to give you this information, but I think that there's some logic that goes behind it of, okay, I've like looked at quite a few of their things and some things match up up, but some things just seem regurgitated or don't really seem like, uh, that they align when it comes to, just like logically, how the body works. Like I was watching one TikTok of you know, I think she said something along the lines of tomatoes are what makes you fat, and I, like, what are you talking about? You know? So with content like that, you know, I can discern that, yeah, tomatoes aren't making you fat. Sure, they might have some things in them or whatever. But like the way that you're projecting that is sort of like this fear mongering or very definitive statement that is evidently not true. But I think that that is something to be wary about. But I think, overall, it is like just having discernment, following your gut. I think your gut tells you a lot about a lot of things, um, and looking into other things that they've done right. Have they done podcasts, like? What do they sound like when they're on podcasts, you know? Do they have testimonials? You know, was I referred to from a friend that has worked with them, right?

Speaker 2: 50:49

So there are different things that we can do, for sure, but I think a lot of it is connecting with someone on a like personal level, like feeling, having someone feel safe.

Speaker 2: 51:00

I think think again, our gut tells us a lot and our intuition tells us a lot, I would say, especially as women. And you know, does that person feel safe? Does it feel like this person is, has the right intention? Because, yes, of course we all, like, may misspeak or may say the wrong things, or may be learning as well but does this person really care about what they're doing? Does it seem genuine? Are they doing it for the right reasons? Am I actually going to get the support? And then the same way with if you go to your doctor and your doctor doesn't want to run the tests or provide you with the answers, do you need to find somebody else? And it's the same thing when it goes with life coaches or nutritionists or dietitians or fitness coaches or personal trainers, whatever it is. Is that person really aligned with you and do I think that the information that I'm getting from this person is valuable, accurate and will support me?

Speaker 1: 51:58

Yeah, yeah, well said. So, in essence, like that, like know and trust factor, and what's really cool about social media is that you can sort of get to know somebody before actually speaking to them, like on a discovery call, which is pretty cool. So, yes, but bottom line just be careful out there. Trust your gut, you know. Ask the questions just like you would to your health care provider. Ask the questions to this particular practitioner. So I did want to talk more about cycle syncing, but maybe we can do that on a future episode, because we've chatted a bit now and so I want to know. I like to ask everybody at the end of my podcast about to know. I like to ask everybody at the end of my podcast about we're not trying to get your period back, but you're having a cycle. But I like to ask everyone how are they living now? You got a period, we got that, but how are you living?

Speaker 2: 52:54

All right, I'll interpret that question.

Speaker 1: 52:56

Yeah, but in my cycle. I am living in my cycle.

Speaker 2: 53:09

Honestly, I'm okay now. I went through a really rough time. The last six months have been very difficult. Well, five months Since October 7th, that has really impacted me over the course of the subsequent three months really, and is still. But I've felt like I'm on a come up in as much.

Speaker 2: 53:24

As you know, I had the longest period of my life in December.

Speaker 2: 53:28

I've never had a period over 35 days and that one was 41 days.

Speaker 2: 53:32

But I knew that that was going to happen, right Like I could understand my body and I knew why it was happening. I knew it was going to happen, so that was fine. But I finally kind of come back into my body, which has been a very exciting experience because I've never had so much reassurance in myself, in how I navigate life, in me standing up for what I believe, in me feeling strong and ethical, in how I practice in my professional life and in my personal life and you know, the Washington Post article could have been something that you know smacked me down, but instead it was that reassurance again of why I'm doing what I'm doing and me navigating that in a certain way that I feel ethical and confident and strong in. So I'm really, really excited for what's to come and I'm living in a way that I am trying to honor myself and the people around me and really prioritize what matters to me, both personally and professionally what matters to me, both personally and professionally.

Speaker 1: 54:43

Amazing, I love hearing that. And there's no. When you get hit down, there is no other place to go other than back up again, right, yeah, so so many things to be learned when things aren't the most ideal situation for us. But if we can look at them and, you know, learn from them, grow from them, then we know that they definitely happen for a reason. Yeah, absolutely yes. Well, thank you, nicole, and tell us where we can find you.

Speaker 2: 55:09

So I am on Instagram and TikTok at Nicole Bendayan and you can email me, nicole at NicoleBendayancom. Everything is really just my name, so you can find me wherever you'd like. Feel free to reach out, feel free to shoot me an email if you have any questions. But yeah, got lots going on.

Speaker 1: 55:27

All right. Well, thank you so much, nicole, for being here. I appreciate your time and all the wealth of information you shared today. Thank you for having me. Hi guys, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Please take a moment to think and reflect on how this could be helpful in your period recovery journey. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to the period recovery podcast. We know there are a lot of pods out there and I'm so excited and grateful you are here listening with me. If you need more support on your period recovery journey, schedule a time to chat with me on my website, periodnutritionistcom. If you found this podcast helpful. Please help me spread awareness on missing periods by subscribing, leaving a review and sharing this podcast with others. Are you ready to get your period back and your life back? I'll see you in two weeks.